The woman revealed that her ex-husband has a 5-year-old daughter with his current wife.
Divorces and remarriages are common and so are blended families which need a lot of adjustment to get along with each other. But not everyone is accepting and inviting to newly added family members. Things might take awkward turns, especially during the holiday season. In one such instance, a woman turned to the Reddit community to vent her frustration and seek people's opinions on her actions and decisions.
The woman, who goes by the username Christmas_Joy231, wrote: "My ex-husband and I got divorced 7 years ago. We share custody of our 13-year-old daughter. He got married and has a 5-year-old daughter with his now wife. His daughter would spend time with my daughter regularly. They adore each other but she doesn't come to my house and they rarely meet up there."
She went on to elaborate on how her ex-husband's current wife has been diagnosed with cancer and started treatment pretty recently. One day, when her ex-husband came in to drop off their daughter, he spoke to the Redditor about his wife's current circumstances. "He said how his family won't be able to have a Christmas celebration this year and it wasn't fair for his daughter and asked if I could 'include' her in my family's celebration. He pointed out how the girls will have a great time together bonding and making memories, but I said I was sorry but my family's traditional celebration is a sacred thing and I do not feel comfortable including anyone else. Plus it'd be awkward having her in my home. He said that his daughter may not be family to me but she sure is to her half-sister. He asked me to stop and 'think' about what's best for the kids here," the woman wrote.
The Reddit user shared that she suggested he take his 5-year-old daughter to spend time with her grandparents for Christmas. Although she tried to cut the conversation short with that suggestion, her ex had a few things to say about how she responded to his request.
She wrote, "He stopped me and started going on about how cruel it was for me to decline to include his daughter who's already having a hard time adjusting. I saw that he was beginning to cry so I stepped back and said I was no longer feeling comfortable having this conversation. I asked him to leave and so he did. But later on, he still texted me, asking me to agree to let his daughter come spend Christmas. He even offered to stay away if that'll make me less uncomfortable. I said no and now he's calling me selfish and unfeeling."
Unsurprisingly, the Reddit community had a lot to say about this woman's story even though the responses were polarized. Some users responded to the post by calling out the ex-husband's actions.
"Don't forget, his initial plan was apparently to attend with his daughter since his Hail Mary was to stay away to make OP less uncomfortable. So he wants to take his daughter away from any possibility of a Christmas with her mom (which may be mom's last Christmas) and ALSO planned to stay away himself. Leaving his cancer-stricken wife entirely alone. There are a few hints as to why he's an ex," one user wrote.
Another user Traditional_Owl_1038 looked at the story from a different perspective and wrote: " Imagine you would learn that your mother is sick and then being told 'no you can't celebrate this holiday with her. You are going to visit a bunch of strangers that don't feel really comfortable with you being there. And a kid that young might not understand what cancer is and that it can be terminal but she will absolutely understand that mom is sick and doesn't want her anymore."
Meanwhile, user julgwill didn't appreciate the actions of Christmas_Joy23 and wrote: "You're well within your rights to refuse. You don't owe your spouse anything. It's your holiday and you can celebrate it however you want. But you are still the AH here. This child has a sick parent, she's only five, and you have the chance to show kindness and embrace the true spirit of Christmas. Instead, you're choosing to be a hard-nose about it, and in so doing, making a lot of people's lives bleaker at a time when you could be making them brighter and more hopeful."
Around eight thousand other Reddit users dived into the conversation to express their opinions. User KitMitt69 commented: "Your family’s 'sacred' tradition includes not taking in children in need? On Christmas? And including a FIVE YEAR OLD CHILD, who is your daughter's sister that she loves, would make your family 'uncomfortable'?"
"It would be a nice thing to do, but obviously she isn't your child and you aren't responsible for her. Also, I feel as though the girl would probably want to spend Christmas with her mother. I'm not sure how extreme the diagnosis is but if my mom had cancer I would want to spend as much time with her as possible. Your ex isn't an AH for asking or crying, but if he doesn't accept no for an answer and keeps demanding that you let his daughter spend Christmas with you, he will be acting like an AH. Surely either your ex or his wife has some friend or family member who can give her a proper Christmas if necessary," wrote user Purple_Rose_562 in support of the woman's decision to not include her ex's child in the Christmas celebration.
Cover Image Source: Reddit/Christmas_Joy231