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Stepdad Refuses To Allow His Wife To Meet Her Daughter And Grandchild, Is It Cruel?

Stepdad Refuses To Allow His Wife To Meet Her Daughter And Grandchild, Is It Cruel?

While the man was simply respecting his stepdaughter's wishes, his wife called him selfish and cruel for not allowing her to meet her grandchild

Families are our backbone and our support system, but sometimes that may not always be the case. One man did not to allow his wife to meet her daughter and grandchild and turned to Reddit to share his story. He asked fellow Redditors if he was an *ssh*l* for doing so in the subreddit thread AITA.  

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He began by explaining the relationship dynamics between him, his wife, and his stepdaughter. The user had lost his own daughter Molly to brain cancer before he met his current wife, "Molly's death broke me. She was my only child I'm no longer who I was before this tragedy," he writes. His current wife has a daughter of her own, Sarah, with whom she has a troubled relationship. He shared that his wife would kick her out of the house over trivial things till one day Sarah decided to leave for good. "Her mom would kick her out over small arguments. She kicked her out for getting a haircut, for failing one class and other reasons. Every time she'd bring her back home and tell her to learn her lesson or she'd be kicked out. One time her mom kicked her out over a dairy at 17 and Sarah had enough and didn't return," the user said. 

Getty Images (Representational Image) | Photo by Melanie Acevedo

The user, however, shares a special relationship with his stepdaughter Sarah. He recalled how despite not being financially stable, she refused to take any help from him. Calling Sarah incredibly independent and hardworking, he noted how Sarah reminded him a lot of his daughter Molly. He would always lend a helping hand in whichever way he can such as helping her land a job and pursue the course that she likes. "She's an artist, she wanted to be a graphic designer I sold my old car to pay for her courses. She started paying me back bit by bit only because she's independent. She lived with her then-boyfriend now-husband and paid for other things," he added. 

Getty Images (Representational Image) | Photo by Nico De Pasquale Photography

The wife, however, made no efforts to mend her relationship with her daughter and in fact "disowned" her the day she got married. The man shared that he even went against his wife's wishes to keep in touch with the stepdaughter. And the stepdaughter even admitted that the man was a father figure in her life. He said, "I attend gatherings with Sarah from time to time and she calls me dad in front of other people. In the past, it was just my name. This sounds crazy but I believe this all happened just so I could meet Sarah and have a chance at being the best father that I could be," he stated.

Getty Images (Representational Image) | Photo by Oliver Rossi

Recently, Sarah gave birth to a baby girl. The wife, who still has no intentions of apologizing to Sarah, suddenly wants to be a part of her life. Sarah, however, requests the user not to give her mother her address as she doesn't want to deal with her at the time. The wife then involves her entire family in the matter to pressurize him into giving her the address. "She called me selfish and cruel. The argument didn't stop. The family are agreeing with her and telling me to stay out of it. I argued with my wife about it again. And she said I had no right and that I needed to give her the address. She didn't even seem regretful or wanted to apologize. Everyone is blaming me telling I'm being cruel and demanding I give her the address," he said before asking other users if he was in the wrong. 

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Redditors unanimously agreed that he wasn't in the wrong and sympathized with him. "Why would you even stay with your wife at this point? Her and her family sound horrible and you already have a good established relationship with Sarah. Be the family that makes you guys happy and move on from the toxic people," one wrote. Another said, "Honestly, their opinions don't matter. Your wife disowned her daughter. That means that since she has no daughter, she has no granddaughter. Js." A third added, "You are a wonderful father and respecting Sarah’s wishes. Your wife threw away many chances to be a decent mother/grandmother. It is not incumbent on you to be the 'family peacemaker.'"

References: 

https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ku4ppq/aita_for_not_giving_my_wife_her_daughters_address/