Alyssa Scott bid goodbye to her son earlier this week and wrote that it was "unbearable" without her son.
Nick Cannon and his partner, model Alyssa Scott, are heartbroken after their 5-month-old son, Zen, passed away on December 7 due to brain cancer. Alyssa Scott posted an incredibly moving video of Zen cooing and responding to her, on Instagram. In the clip, Zen can be seen wearing tan corduroy overalls and a T-shirt of cartoon animals. He is lying on his back and Scott — off camera — tells him, "Hi, can you say, ‘Good morning, Daddy?' Can you say, ‘I love you?'" The baby cooed, and she responds by telling her baby that Dad "loves you too." Zen then smiles and waves.
Cannon and Scott have been mourning the loss of their baby this week. "Oh my sweet Zen. The soreness I felt in my arm from holding you is slowly fading away. It’s a painful reminder that you are no longer here," she wrote on Instagram. "I caught myself looking in the backseat as I was driving only to see the mirror no longer reflecting your perfect face back at me. When I close a door too loudly I hold my breath and wince knowing a soft cry will shortly follow. It doesn’t come. The silence is deafening."
She also wrote that Zen had kept her going throughout the whole journey. "These last 5 months we have been in this race together. We would hand the baton off to each other. You kept me going. It would be the middle of the night and you would smile at me. A surge of energy would fill my body and pure joy would radiate from within me. We were a team, both determined to see it through. It feels unbearable running without you now. I can’t. And in this moment I feel myself being carried. By your sister. By God. By complete strangers encouraging me to not give up . It has been an honor and privilege being your mommy.. I will love you for eternity," she concluded in the emotional post.
Cannon opened up on the grief of losing his child on his eponymous daytime show, 'The Nick Cannon Show,' reported PEOPLE. Alyssa Scott first noticed a difference in their son when he was just two months old. His head seemed bigger than usual for his age. "He had this real interesting breathing and by the time he was two months old I noticed…he had this nice sized head," recalled Cannon. "I wanted to take him to the doctor to get the breathing and the sinus thing checked out," he said. Cannon didn't think much about it at the time. Doctors found that fluid had been building up in Zen's head and they detected a malignant tumor. His tumor was growing a lot faster by around Thanksgiving.
Cannon confirmed that Zen, his seventh child, had passed away on his show. "I didn't know how I was gonna handle today but I just really wanted to grieve with my family, people who love you. I didn't want to make it about any pageantry so I kind of went back and forth of what I should do but I was always taught, you go through it, you grow through it, you keep pushing," Cannon told his audience. "I'm here to show that I can fight through this, I'm feeling it, I'm vulnerable, I'm open. This is a special show dedicated to my beautiful son Zen."
Some criticized Cannon for going straight back to work immediately after the death of his baby. He hit back at those judging him. "A lot of people keep asking me, ‘Why you even at work?' Especially my family," he shared on the episode from December 8, 2021, reported E!Online. "'Boy you need to go sit down somewhere. You got too many jobs already anyway!' I appreciate all that advice and I know it comes from a place of care but to me this isn't work. This is love."
Cover image source: Instagram/itsalyssaemm