These signs might not be that evident, but it's going to harm you in the future.
When people think of abuse, the first thing that crosses their mind is physical abuse. In most cases, they forget that emotional torture is also abuse. It's because emotional abuse goes unnoticed as it doesn't leave a mark like physical abuse. “Unlike physical or sexual abuse, there is a subtlety to emotional abuse,” Lisa Ferentz, a licensed clinical social worker and educator specializing in trauma told HuffPost. “It’s a lot more confusing to victims, as it typically is couched in behaviors that can initially be perceived as ‘caring.’” Now, you might seem conflicted because the person you knew is not the person now.
Apparently, it's all a part of the process as Ferentz says the abuser's period of good behavior is part of their “grooming process.” “In doing so, they win over the trust and confidence of their victims, which then makes the victims vulnerable to subsequent abuse,” she explained. Though the scars of the emotional abuse aren't visible on the victim, the effect they can have on that person going through this is enough to leave them permanently scarred. However, it is sometimes quite difficult to identify such a relationship, there are telltale signs. Here are some of them:
1. You're constantly walking on eggshells
one toxic relationship can just completely change a good person— ✰ tyler ✰ (@phaithfuI) November 13, 2020
You're forever worried about upsetting your partner, so you try your best to keep them happy, even if it makes you unhappy in the process. This is the most unhealthy way to maintain a relationship because bottling up your feelings for someone else's happiness will only cause you more pain.
2. Your partner gaslights your regularly
Can we talk about how hard it is to learn to communicate in a healthy relationship when you're only used to toxic/abusive forms of communication— Rach 😈 (@rachelforinger) November 13, 2020
Your partner is constantly undermining you and denying facts. They may have told you something a while ago, but when you bring it up now, they deny it and say they've never said anything like that. After a while, even to you, it seems like what they say is the ultimate truth.
3. Your partner says hurtful, mean things and calls it a joke
toxic isn’t cute.. stop trying to normalize relationships that are unhealthy. being toxic was never cute and never will be— its Kye like Bye (@h8kye) November 13, 2020
It seems like this is the way your partner converses with you. They say the meanest of things and then say they were simply joking when it hurts you. Even if you tell them that their jokes make you uneasy or uncomfortable, it isn't going to stop them because they get pleasure out of your pain, it's just how toxic your partner is.
4. Even though you've done nothing wrong, you end up saying sorry
Women be having PTSD from dating men bruh. That trauma lingers too even when they find a good man....those fears are still there in the back of their heads.— This is an Airfryer Stan Acc (@simsimmaaz) November 15, 2020
Sometimes, life can be unfair, and this is one such situation. You realize you say sorry for everything, even when it's not your fault, and that is manipulation at its finest. This is only because you value that person way too much and you're willing to let go of your ego than let go of the person that's just not good enough for you.
5. You are compelled to tell your partner who you're with and where you are at all times
Y’all have got to stop romanticizing toxic relationships 😐— jo (@jrdn_hywd) November 16, 2020
It may seem like they care about you, but in reality, they're checking up on you because they can't bear the thought of you having fun with someone else. It can sometimes even go to the extent of them forcing you to share your chats with your friends so that they can keep tabs on who you're in contact with and what you say about them.
6. Your partner is always hot and cold
Stop normalizing toxic relationships— Backup 🥱 (@girlthatskd_) November 14, 2020
There's never any stability in the relationship, and if something doesn't go the way your partner wants it to, they threaten to end the relationship immediately. For example, your partner wants to go out with someone, and you say no, their first instinct will be to say "okay, let's end this here," because then, you'll give in to their wish. They will eventually get what they want.
7. Your partner never encourages you or cheers you on
Some of you have never had to end a relationship with a toxic narcissist and it shows.— Natasha Link (@NatashaLink1) November 14, 2020
Whenever you do something good, it is never acknowledged, but when you make a mistake, they will be the first one to find fault in you. Your sense of confidence will be at an all-time low. You constantly undermine yourself and believe you're absolutely good at nothing, all because of one person who can't stand to see anyone else shine in life.
8. Your partner withholds things when they want to punish you
toxic friendships are just as bad if not worse than toxic relationships— Isabela Yanakieva (@IsabelaYanakie1) November 15, 2020
Basically, sex, money, and affection are three things that your toxic partner will withhold from you when they're not too happy with the way things are. These three things are important for people and the one who withholds these in the relationship believes they have the upper hand in things.
If these are some signs that you've noticed in your relationship, then it's time to reconsider the bond you share with them, at least for the sake of your sanity.