The 22-year-old's baby turned one recently but he was not able to celebrate the same day his wife died.
The grief that comes with losing a partner is unimaginable. But how difficult must it be to lose your wife the day she gave birth to your son? His birthday will be a constant reminder of her death. Also, raising a child unsuspectedly all on your own? The situation seems incredibly complex. Especially for this young father who is only 22 years old. He confessed that his feelings for his son are quite complicated. In a now-deleted post, he wrote, "I just... I hate him." He started off by saying that he had gotten married at the age of 19 and it had been some of the "happiest days" of his life. But that was short-lived when his 22-year-old wife became pregnant and died during childbirth.
According to CafeMom, he admitted his wife's pregnancy was never easy and that "she was constantly nauseous and sick." He added that on the day of labor "I'm beside her even though it's a baby I never wanted," he continued. "I'd rather not get into detail, but the worst happened and I went home alone with a baby." The young single dad had no support from either of the families and his friends were "poor 20-somethings working minimum wage jobs." He continued: I had no idea how to raise a child. I worked two jobs and my son was bounced around with my friends, who rotated looking after him while I was working. I worked 12am-8am overnight where I'd leave him with my best friend. Thankfully he was not a fussy baby and slept through most of the night. He's sleeping next to me in his cradle and looking at his squishy little face. I hate this stupid [expletive] kid. Well, not entirely. When he snuggles next to me the few hours I have off, I get a rush of affection for him. But most of the time, I hate him.
The baby turned one year old recently but the tired dad was far from celebrating. He said: This isn't his birthday, this is the day my wife died. If she had been here right now, then I wouldn't be all by myself with a one-year-old. Who I literally hate more than anything in the world. The dad is tired of leaving his son at his friends' place to babysit. He's heartbroken that his dreams of being a successful doctor are shattered. "I don't know what to do. I don't know what this post was about. I guess I'm just asking... how do I get past this? How do I handle this? How do I do this?" he asked.
It must not be easy for the dad to admit such strong emotions and many Redditors were understanding and suggested that he seek help. One concerned person shared: You say you hate your son, but I don't think you do. You won't abandon him or leave him because you're worried about him and you care. I think you have a lot of misplaced anger against your son. I can't begin to imagine your pain, but I do know that little boy will grow older and you will see your wife in him as well as you. Babies are HARD. But things get easier. Please though, I am also worried you may get angry and hurt him. Just please, if you ever feel yourself getting anywhere close to that point, please reach out to someone. Another added: I'm really sorry. All I will say is you sound like you're trying your absolute best. Despite your feelings towards your son, you're hanging in there -- you've sacrificed and you're working hard and you've refused to give him up. Give yourself some kudos for that. And listen, this doesn't have to be forever. Your future is not over, and your life story has not been written yet. You can still make a great future for yourself and your kid, even if things seem bleak now. Hang in there and good luck.