21YO Woman's Bizarre Condition Makes Her Suffer A Memory Loss Every Time She Is Happy
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21YO Woman's Bizarre Condition Makes Her Suffer A Memory Loss Every Time She Is Happy
For Megan Jackson, happiness is a luxury as some of the most joyful times in her life has triggered fits
Representational photo (Getty Images) / Photo by Solskin
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January 11, 2023
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Editor’s note: This article was originally published on March 21, 2021. It has since been updated.
Almost everyone longs for happiness but the yearning is a lot more for this 21-year-old TikToker who developed functional neurological disorder [FND] five years ago. Her condition is such that she has to keep a diary to even remember details about her other half. What makes things complicated is that the woman, Megan Jackson, experiences memory loss when she gets too excited, is surprised, laughs too much, or hears a loud noise. Her partner Tara Sorkin, 22, plays music to jog Megan’s memory but is always careful to not trigger her condition. This also means that the couple may not consider a marriage proposal as it may end up triggering Meghan as it did when she watched her horse win the Grand National, reported the Daily Star.
Representational photo (Getty Images) / Photo by Rafa Elias
Megan says her life has changed dramatically since she was diagnosed with FND at 17. She was rushed to the hospital by mum Sanchia Jackson, 45, after suffering up to 35 seizures a day that made it difficult for her to walk and talk. "It's so depressing. I have seizures pretty much every day. I only need to laugh then I have a fit. It affects every part of my life. I can cope with the seizures because I really don't have a clue what's going on when they're happening, but it's the memory loss [too]," she said.
Representational photo (Getty Images) / Photo by Boy_Anupong
"Sometimes I forget who my girlfriend is and that's terrifying. Sometimes I forget family members. It's like my memory lapses. The most bizarre thing is I can wake up and forget I like certain foods. I'll buy something then the next day think, 'why did I buy this - I don't like that?’. The worst part is when I wake up from a seizure and have no feeling in my legs.
I can be stuck like that for days and I have to wee in a cup or throw myself off the bed and take myself to the toilet. It's so sad that at 21, I have to make myself miserable - but not too miserable - so I don't have a fit," she added, according to the Daily Star.
Representational photo (Getty Images) / Photo by Science Photo Library
What hurts her further is that her condition has impacted her relationships. Her first girlfriend Tara is unable to buy her big presents or surprise her out of fear of triggering an episode. "When I met her, my fits were way worse because I knew I had to tell my family. It would just come out in my fits otherwise. We've only been together a few months and we've been through way too much. We shouldn't have been through this amount of trauma and I've forgotten her at least four times. She's really good with it. She writes diaries to me every day and keeps them in my notebook on my phone. It's like 50 First Dates. Everyone refers to it like that. She puts our songs on to try and jog my memory, but it depends how I react to it," Megan said.
Representational photo (Getty Images) / Photo by Nam Nguyen / EyeEm
"It's so traumatic for all of us, especially when it's someone so close to you who you spend so much time with. Even if she shows me pictures, it means nothing because I've got no feelings there for the person at all. It's so sad. I worry about life events such as being proposed to. We were talking about our wedding day the other day. If she proposed to me, you'd have to get it on camera because I'd be out like a light. You can't casually bring getting married into a conversation," she added. For Megan, a moment of joy is a luxury, some of the happiest times in her life have triggered fits. She also had to overcome side-effects like slurred speech or losing her voice completely, reported the Daily Star.
Representational photo (Getty Images) / Photo by Tetra Images
Her disorder has also impacted her career prospects. She was forced to leave a role last summer after a severe seizure. Meghan explained, "I can't work. I've been let go by so many jobs. [Even a few weeks after losing one job], I had a really bad fit where I lost a lot of my memory. I woke up, went, and got all my work stuff. I washed all my work clothes and I said to Deanna, 'I've got to go get my washing because I've got to dry it before tomorrow'. She said 'Megan, what do you mean?' I said 'Well, I've got work at 08.15am'. She burst into tears. She said 'Megan, you don't work there anymore. You don't have a job anymore’.”
Representational photo (Getty Images) / Photo by Solskin
Though she doesn't have a job, she spent her time launching a TikTok channel where she helps others with invisible disabilities. She now has more than 280,000 followers who have helped her to fund $2085.88 to go towards her private healthcare. "The reason I set up my TikTok account was that this generation is so influenced by social media. When you look at my Instagram, you'd think I'm a regular 21-year-old girl who goes out, sees her friends, goes on holiday, when in reality, I'm extremely disabled and I don't get to do as many things as I'd like to. I can't drive, I can't go anywhere on my own, I can't bath without being watched. I wanted to make more people aware of hidden disabilities. I want to be a voice for others going through what I am. It gave me a purpose. I want to share my journey with people on TikTok as they are donating. The neurologist appointment will be around 300 pounds ($417.18), then MRIs are 500 pounds ($695.29). The likelihood is the therapy I need is CBT. I either need to go to an in-patient unit where I can get all the different types of therapy at once, or I'll need to go once a week. If I do that privately it's going to cost so much money," she said, according to the Daily Star.
